Just some things I found...if u like them I'll be bringin more

Famous One Liners...


"I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."

"I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming. They don't know I'm only using blanks."

I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.

We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.

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Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.