Darkness and I were having a discussion and couldn't decide who would win in a Texas cage match to the death

help us out would yea?

Of course Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris falls into the water he doesn't get wet...they water gets Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer, but he has never cried.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity.....twice

Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Chuck Norris never played with rubber ducks in the bathtub. His 3 favorite bath toys consisted of a radio, a toaster, and a middle aged Vietnamese man.

Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.

Chuck Norris once bowled a 300. Without a ball. He wasn't even in a bowling alley.

If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" backwards, you will hear Chuck Norris banging your sister.


and the last one

Chuck Norris can eat more Cheesy Poofs than Eric Cartman.

Bruce would kicked everyones asses.

Whappppppaaaaaaa *shakes*

Bruce was born with it.

Steven Seagull can just lay back, and do bombing runs on all these guys. He definitely is my hero. Can you only imagine after a few years of being in fresh guano, how demoralized they would all be? Not to mention when not chasing the hard hitting and elusive Steven Seagull, they would always be doing showers-not good for ones social life!

who voted the marshmellow man?

I didn't but you gotta admit he is a badass.

I didn't either but he looks evil indeed.

Did vote for fluffy below, but still will stay with the Seagull as number 1, because he can put a topping on Mr. Marshmallow as well!

I love that movie...

"where do these stairs go?"

"they go up"

Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.

Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f***ing Jeep.

Chuck Norris never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction.

Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul.

Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.

Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.

Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.

Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.

Chuck Norris can make a paraplegic run for his life.

Before Chuck Norris was born, the martial arts weapons with two pieces of wood connected by a chain were called NunBarrys. No one ever did find out what happened to Barry.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

Most men are okay with their wives fantasizing about Chuck Norris during sex, because they are doing the same thing.

Chuck Norris once finished "The Song that Never Ends"

Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris?

mr.rogers is a ex sniper he would so win