I'm more than certain that this is an old Moose Hunters' Logic...

You see, these three moose hunters fly to Alaska and charter a float plane to fly back to this lake they visited last year. They land on the lake and the pilot taxis up to the point and lets the men out. They unload their gear and the pilot announces that he'll be back in three days.

Three days later, the pilot lands on the lake and taxis up to the point. The men have three dead moose. They load the gear and then strap a moose onto the pontoons.

The pilot then says, "That's It. Let's go."

One of the men says, "What do you mean that's it. We have two more moose to load."

The men and the pilot then get into a long discussion about the carrying capacity of the plane, the temperature and the lift of the air, the length of the lake, the weight of the men and the gear and the moose.

Finally, one of the men says, "Look. Last year we took off from this same lake with the same kind of aircraft, the same wind and weather conditions, the same three men, the same gear and three moose. Last year's pilot did it."

They continue to argue and finally persuade the pilot to do it. So, they load the other two moose on the aircraft and strap them down on the plane.

They then taxi to the far end of the lake and turn the plane around. The pilot shuts it off and the men get out and drag it way back into the weeds. They then get back into the plane and reach through the windows and grab hold of branches and hold it from moving. The pilot restarts the plane and revs it all the way up. At top speed, he shouts, "Let go!" The plane leaps forward and goes faster and faster across the lake but it is still touch and go.

Finally, the plane lifts off.

Unfortunately, the pontoons hit the top of the branches. The plane goes end over end.... The men go flying. The gear goes flying.... The moose go flying....

After a few moments, one of the men comes to.

He gets to feet, looks around and yells, "Bill?"

After a moment he hears, "Joe?"

Joe sits up and asks, "Bill -- where are we?"

Bill studies the terrain and replies, "Looks like about fifty feet farther than last year!"

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Quickie in the bush - another oldie

THERE ARE TWO STATUES IN A PARK; ONE OF A NUDE MAN AND ONE OF A NUDE WOMAN. THEY HAD BEEN FACING EACH OTHER ACROSS A PATHWAY FOR A HUNDRED YEARS WHEN, ONE DAY, AN ANGEL CAME DOWN FROM THE SKY AND, WITH A SINGLE GESTURE, BRINGS THE TWO TO LIFE. THE ANGEL TELLS THEM, "AS A REWARD FOR BEING SO PATIENT THROUGH A HUNDRED BLAZING SUMMERS AND DISMAL WINTERS, YOU HAVE BEEN GIVEN LIFE FOR THIRTY MINUTES TO DO WHAT YOU'VE WISHED TO DO THE MOST."
HE LOOKS AT HER, SHE LOOKS AT HIM, AND THEY GO RUNNING BEHIND THE SHRUBBERY. THE ANGEL WAITS PATIENTLY AS THE BUSHES RUSTLE AND GIGGLING ENSUES. AFTER FIFTEEN MINUTES, THE TWO RETURN, OUT OF BREATH AND LAUGHING.
THE ANGEL TELLS THEM, "YOU HAVE FIFTEEN MINUTES LEFT... WOULD YOU CARE TO DO IT AGAIN?"
HE ASKS HER "SHALL WE?" AND SHE EAGERLY REPLIES, "OH, YES, LET'S! BUT LET'S CHANGE POSITIONS. THIS TIME, I'LL HOLD THE PIGEON DOWN AND YOU SHIT ON IT'S HEAD!"

And what were you thinking!!!!!

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The psychiatrist ......


A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children.

"You all have obsessions," he began... then to the first mother, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with eating too many sweets and junk foods. You've even named your daughter Candy."

He turned to the second mom whose name was Ann: "Your obsession is with money, Ann. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."

He turned to the third mom, named Joyce: "Your obsession is with alcohol. This too, shows itself in your choice of your child's name, Brandy."

....At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, quietly got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, we're leaving. Your brothers Peter and Willy are waiting for us."

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Pigeons in the park-all good thanks!