An old man, Mr. Wallace, was living in a nursing home.
One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed.
Nurse Tracy asked him if there was anything wrong,
'Yes, Nurse Tracy ,' said Mr. Wallace.
'My Private Part died today, and I am very sad.'
Knowing her patients were a little forgetful and sometimes a little crazy,
she replied, 'Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Wallace. Please accept my condolences ..'
The following day, Mr. Wallace was walking down the hall with his Private Part
hanging out of his pajamas.
He m et Nurse Tracy . 'Mr. Wallace,' she said,
'You shouldn't be walking down the hall like that.
Please put your Private Part back inside your pajamas.'
'But, Nurse Tracy I can't,' replied Mr. Wallace.
'I told you yesterday that my Private Part died.
'Yes,' said Nurse Tracy, 'you did tell me that,
but why is it hanging out of your pajamas?'
(You've gotta love this ):
'Well,' he replied, 'Today is the viewing.'
THE VIBRATOR
As a woman passed her daughter's closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter with a vibrator.
Shocked, she asked: 'what in the world are you
doing?'
The daughter replied: 'mom, I'm thirty-five years
old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as
I'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and
leave me alone.'
The next day, the girl's father heard the same buzz
coming from the other side of the closed bedroom
door. Upon entering the room, he observed his
daughter making passionate love to her vibrator.
To his query as to what she was doing, the daughter said: 'dad I'm thirty-five, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a
husband. Please, go away and leave me alone.'
A couple days later, the wife came home from a
shopping trip, placed the groceries on the kitchen
counter, and heard that buzzing noise coming from, of all places, the living room. She entered that area and observed her husband sitting on the couch, downing a cold beer, and staring at the TV.
The vibrator was next to him on the couch, buzzing
like crazy.
The wife asked: 'What the f@!* are you doing?'
The husband replied: 'I'm watching football with my son-in-law.'
