One Star Hangover (*)

No pain. No real feeling of illness. You're able to function relatively
well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 5 sodas and still feel this way. For some reason, you are craving a steak & fries.

Two Star Hangover (**)

No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay, but you have the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are chugging is only increasing your rumbling gut, which is still tossing around the fruity pancake from the 3:00 AM Waffle House excursion. There is some definite havoc being wreaked upon your bowels.

Three Star Hangover (***)

Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not productive. Anytime a girl walks by, you gag because her perfume reminds you of the flavored schnapps shots your alcoholic friends dared you to drink. Life would be better right now if you were home in your bed watching Lucy reruns. You?ve had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 iced teas and a diet Coke
--- yet you haven't peed once.


Four Star Hangover (****)

Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or else you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you only shaved one side of your face. (For the ladies, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars.) Your
eyes look like one big red vein, and even your hair hurts. Your sphincter is in perpetual spasm, and the first of about five shits you take during the day brings water to the eyes of everyone who enters the bathroom.


Five Star Hangover, (*****)

You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapour is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to get the remnants of the poop fairy out. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva so your
tongue is suffocating you. You don't have the foggiest idea who the hell the stranger was passed out in your bed this morning. Any attempt to defecate the results in a fire hose like discharge of alcohol-scented fluid with a rare 'floater' thrown in. The sole purpose of this 'floater' seems to be to splash the toilet water all over your ass. Death soungs pretty good about right now....
_________________________________

Less of a joke and more of a public service announcement as intended.

Been through all 5 over the time, 5 is horrible and only been like it a couple of times although I never went to work like it.

Been through them all too. 5 is very close to death too.

can drink all night and never wake up with head ach got to 4 no head ach

Call me a wimp(if you dare), but I hit #4 after a couple of shots. I am what you call a cheap drunk...... Please look at the calender before you make a comment to my reply.

*looks at calander*
yep done that


cheap drunk.....u mean ur easy
couple drinks back to bed

better with u than a streat corner lass if u know what i mean

women carnt handel there drink anyway

there to weak

The worst I've pulled off in the past 10 years was a 3-star a couple years ago at a friends New Years' Eve party - which also happens to be my B-Day.

Rumor has it I drank an entire fifth of Capt Morgan's (minus one 'normal' drink's worth), 3 Shiner Bock beers, numerous Butter Shots, and 2 glasses of Champaigne. I'm pretty sure it was the Champaigne that did me in as I totally chucked when I got home.

I can't drink enough anymore to get past three stars, but I've been five far too many times to want to remember them and four plenty of times, too. I've never gone in to work after a night like that, though. Although I have gone in at one or two stars a few times. I wish pot were legal...

me too... though i have only been 5 once or twice in my life (not to work in 4 or 5) ... ganja is better... no hangovers and you can still go to wqrk the next day.

You and me both

Need an adendum to the five star, Wake up in a hedge behind a store the day after payday pennyless suffering from a five star. Then there is the ripping music off surround sound 8-tracks chugging a gallon of dago red right pap

that sounds like experiance