Friends:
Is your day lackluster?
Bored and suffereing from an advanced case of ennui?
Never fear! I will loan you my cat.
Say what? is your response.
Ahh, glad you asked. It's like this.
My cat "chooses" to drop her grogans in three places, mood dependant.
When she feels like following the house rules; she does her bidness in the kitty litter box.
When her grogan is a "hard extraction" (firearms people will relate, the saying harder than hammered cat sh!t will be a clue to the unititiated) it is delicately deposited on the rug under the bathroom sink, out of the way.
When, for whatever reason, she is "upset" with me, <upset being a relative term since I flunked my cat psychology class, along with the understanding the nuances and subtleties of feminine thought>, she drops the grogans sneak attack style on the brown rug at the entrance to the living room.
Since this is usually later at night, I always have something to look forward to in the morning.
The gentle reminder of my purported transgressions, blend in so well even a quick perusal usually misses them; resulting in a "what the $%#*, you damn cat" and hopping around with the attendant and most neccessary swearing and cursing.
The good news in all this, if there is such a thing, is that they are the "hard extraction" variety and I usually end up hoofing the damn things rather than having them insinuated between my toes.
Stage two is spent reviewing in my sleep-adled mind the sounds of the ricochets to determine where possibly, the little turdlette may have landed. Simple you say. Silly goose. Stage three, too can be a game, a challenge and more than frustrating, since they usually bounce back onto the brown "camo" rug thereby affording me a second chance to play the proverbial "kick the cat sh!t." And you thought you had it bad. Huh!

BAD cat.

Sounds like your cat has you trained very well
The advantage of a turd is that that it is recognizable.
Now when they take a leak somewhere, that becomes an adventure.

Picture yourself, first lifting each arm, turn head, inhale.
Flap the waste basket top, for kitchen crap that should have be outside a long time ago. Pop open fridge for more of the same.
Check the bathroom to see if your recent visit has followed you instead.
Check dirty lawnwork type sneakers. Close, but not quite the ammonia smell you had hoped
All done.
Now crawl around on every inch of carpet and furniture sniffing like a dog.

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!! Sorry Burner it just cracked me up!!!!!

ROFL!!!!! Good one!!!!! I LIKE that cat's style!!!

i had a cat that did that... and she got terminated... but only because her liver was shot.... i hated that turding on the rug business.....

i think she did it to tell me it was time to go.... cause is got worse and worse. She could not even keep food down at the end so I had to end it at the Humane Society.

Sorry to hear that Mandark, that's awful. It's the worst thing to have to do.

Really sorry to hear about the cat, Mandark. Wdoll and HK. It was written to be funny and point out the humour of life and cats. 'Kay?

UM Burner? We've too cats and appreciated the story... dork!

Yeah, I know, cats. What are you gonna do?

cats piss on your walls but are good eating

my cat goes crap and whiz in 2 places

the neighbours garden, and the litter box

any other place inside the house and he gets locked in the basement

but we've never had a problem with him doing his business elsewhere

I just had to read this again because it's so funny!